I've been out of a relationship for almost 3 years now. With many ups and downs, I've grown a lot and learned to love myself. But now there is someone else... The last time I had a bf I was younger 18-19, so the feelings were different. Its just butterflies and all the sweet stuff. So now that I'm older things might be different, but I can't differentiate. I'm not getting that strong feeling of my heart racing and curiosity of the the other person. I can't tell if I like them or not? I don't know if its because I LOVE MYSELF too much to make room for someone else. I am not making an effort for that other person, although I want to, but I am so confused inside I don't know what to do. "I want to go see him, but its such a hassle so forget it!" Or maybe I've been rejected the last few times, soI refuse to try and give this person a chance. That and I have such high standards always comparing to someone else in my heart... I really am going crazy...
The other reason is... HIM. the love of my life that's making me selfish. And I say crazy because I don't even know him personally, I just adore him from the one time I met him and all the times I've seen him from afar. I had made a promise that I will reserve myself for him, even if its just watching him from afar. But for the last 2 weeks I wanted to give up on him, and start out fresh. I wanted to bury him deep in my heart because it hurts too much to think about how much I love him, but can't be by his side. Maybe if I make room for someone else that pain will go away.
