Pretty & Skinny

I've watched many kdramas/movies and read up on many Korean celebrities. And many of them make the typical girl so SAD. haha But if you think about it who would want to watch ugly fat people on the screen all the time. And celebs have the time and money to look good. Since I have the time and not the money I really want to work on myself, not be super skinny or anything, but to feel good about myself. To have confidence to take on the world. I've gained a good 20lbs since college and its taking a toll on my life. I don't want to go out all the time and socialize and if there is someone that might like me I won't let them get near me. Also, I have high standards and I want to live up to that, by at least looking HOT right?

So the deal is to lose at least 10 lbs and get lighter, I'm so tan from the beach right now?

Why the sudden change? Well, I've been trying to lose weight for the last 2 years, and uh.. yea... no.. I signed up to the gym twice, tried to stop eating, tried detox and diet bars, I even tried smoking which was the most successful, but I don't like how it makes me smell and yellow teeth with bad skin, so I quit after two week, which btw I'm very proud of =]. However theres something big coming up on Sept 7th. Almost like a dream come true, which I don't want to discuss right now or I might JINX myself >.<. But I want to look hot for this event, thinner and lighter. I have to get the spotlight back like I use to have 2 years ago. FIGHTING!