Miss. Independent

I've been practicing Miss. Independent for almost 3 years now. I definitely love it and hate it! It causes too much pride in me. After a breakup with a long term boyfriend, a rebound after and failure there after, I have given up on men. Now I have this pride thing where I won't throw myelf at a guy that I like, I don't even play hard to get. I just let it go, "Eh, nothing is going to happen." I don't even let myself like a guy. The last several guys that I thought were eligible boyfriends just left me hanging. And now I'm just a girl that doesn't need anyone. Well, many say I'm aggressive, assertive, independent, but deep down I am a woman after all. It is nice to have someone to spend some down time with, someone that goes out of their way to make you smile. I think I've missed many chances of all the nice guys I've met, but I am just not ready. I don't even want to test the waters. My excuse is, I don't have time, there is too much sh!t going on in my life to make room for someone else. Also I love spending all my time and money on myself. But sometimes making room for that someone will make the sh!t go away. Maybe I'm watching too much drama and only dream of that perfect encounter with the perfect person to lead that most romantic relationship. I watched this one drama about a girl that was labeled a "sticky note girl," a girl who is plain and works hard, and everyone just takes advantage of her and always forgetting to care about her. But she believed that through working hard one day she will get noticed(meeting her prince). Maybe I'm not working hard enough, I'm definitely not plain. However, sometimes I do feel that I'm not ready for a guy, I feel I don't deserve a guy, but I am in the process of making myself someone to be adored and loved "고 아라 화이팅!". I feel like this miss independent thing is like a marathon, I just keep running, but when I'm tired who is going to catch me when I fall.