Whats to happen in the next few days!

The big MOVE is in about 4 days!

-The last few days of work are so dreadful! I am so over this part time job that became full time with unpaid overtime, and the strangest manager that took over! YEAY FREEDOM!

-I am itching for change right now! There is so much to do before I leave, I don't know where to start(thank goodness for my Se7en planner, so I can jot everything down). I am definitely scared of whats to be Sunday afternoon when I wave by to parents & poodle & the 2 houre drive to KTOWN! I will be alone in this big big world. Honestly, I don't know anyone in LA, well anyone near the area I'm living, um where to start to look for a job with LA traffic and parking meters that are always taken! And school, orientation is 2 days after my move... SIGH. It will be quite an adventure. WISH ME LUCK!

-Speaking of luck, that is what Se7en wrote on my poster when he autographed it. I hope I will get it. Maybe its already in the process because I feel so blessed, that I''ve passed my English class I needed to transfer and my parents are helping me out more that I expected. I AM SO GRATEFUL right now. So I shouldn't be worried about anything else, but keep FIGHTING! Keep that luck rolling!

-So Se7en's annual membership sign-up is going on right now and its only till August 17th, but the membership is $95 and all iI get is news emails, a membership card, and behind the scenes footage of Se7en. Is it worth it? ehh... I know I love him, but... OH ALL THE THINGS I DO FOR HIM! I need to go to the bank and make the transfer before I leave. I will really regret it if I don't sign up. haha YEA I AM A DIE-HEART FAN!

I LOVE SE7EN

$$$

YES! One problem down! 10 more to go! I got money for SCHOOL! that was the big bump in the road. 2 weeks till the big move! things are looking up, I finished my final the other day! *cross fingers*.... Gosh, I've been getting money left and right from just random things. but I went shopping today =[. its ok! K0 ara FIGHTING! Ok now don't be those greedy bad guys in dramas and spend it all away and live in poverty! >.<


-Speaking of dramas: I'm on the last episode of Absolute Boyfriend, a '08 Japanese drama. Its pretty good, given it's my first Japanese drama. I feel bad for the robot... What will become of him??? Its so.... when he can be robbed of his memories with a click of a button. This movie is cute, if you like cute, I recommend.

Miss. Independent

I've been practicing Miss. Independent for almost 3 years now. I definitely love it and hate it! It causes too much pride in me. After a breakup with a long term boyfriend, a rebound after and failure there after, I have given up on men. Now I have this pride thing where I won't throw myelf at a guy that I like, I don't even play hard to get. I just let it go, "Eh, nothing is going to happen." I don't even let myself like a guy. The last several guys that I thought were eligible boyfriends just left me hanging. And now I'm just a girl that doesn't need anyone. Well, many say I'm aggressive, assertive, independent, but deep down I am a woman after all. It is nice to have someone to spend some down time with, someone that goes out of their way to make you smile. I think I've missed many chances of all the nice guys I've met, but I am just not ready. I don't even want to test the waters. My excuse is, I don't have time, there is too much sh!t going on in my life to make room for someone else. Also I love spending all my time and money on myself. But sometimes making room for that someone will make the sh!t go away. Maybe I'm watching too much drama and only dream of that perfect encounter with the perfect person to lead that most romantic relationship. I watched this one drama about a girl that was labeled a "sticky note girl," a girl who is plain and works hard, and everyone just takes advantage of her and always forgetting to care about her. But she believed that through working hard one day she will get noticed(meeting her prince). Maybe I'm not working hard enough, I'm definitely not plain. However, sometimes I do feel that I'm not ready for a guy, I feel I don't deserve a guy, but I am in the process of making myself someone to be adored and loved "고 아라 화이팅!". I feel like this miss independent thing is like a marathon, I just keep running, but when I'm tired who is going to catch me when I fall.

Friends

Friend as defined on dicitionary.com:

"1.	a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2.	a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.

3.	a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile"

I've been having a hard time finding good loyal friends. Or maybe I'm just expecting too much and then I just get disappointed in the end. When asked for help there is no one there. When I'm at the very very bottom of it all feeling like s!ht! No one picks up their phone. What have I done wrong to deserve this. Friends will be who they are, you can't control them. All I know is there is no one to help you but yourself, must be strong and handle things yourself. At least I have recently met some helpful people, but those that I've been with for years and though they were good friends that would help me when in need, however they definitely are not in the book, and since I'm moving now, I guess thats the end of us. We had dinner today, I was surprised they showed up and even paid after all the years of me paying. It was our last farewell, but I don't think they knew it. It was just a wave, "see you later." and got into our cars. All the times they took advantage of me, and when I needed their help the most they don't even show up, we did have some good times. So thank you for being part of my life and good luck with everything you do in life. FAREWELL

too much shhhiiii.....

Sometimes I feel like my life is so Korean drama, minus the rich boy falls in loves with poor girl. Anyway, I've officially hit rock bottom. I rarely cry, I cried myself to sleep last night and I teared up like 5 times today. I HATE CRYING! And there is no one or anything to BLAME, but MYSELF! Sometimes my parents make me out to be the worst kid ever, when I'm not even half as bad as the kids I know. ANYWAY

-Rock bottom: I Finally found a goal I want to fulfill in life. And I want it now! the PASSION I tell you! the PASSION! But I'm dead broke and mommy and daddy wont help me. And its my fault because I've been floundering around in college for 4 years wasting their money, so they tell me I don't deserve the $. And my $12 an hr job has nothing to show for, beside my LV, Gucci, Coach, and Nordstroms clothes. When I was trying to save money, I got into a car accident which set me back over a $1,000. Plus many trips to LA. Also, I currently don't have health insurance, and I have cancer! Well, signs of cancer and I can't go do a check-up because I don't have insurance! yeay!
-the DRAMA part: I'm a poor girl, with kind sorta cancer, and I'm always depress and crying, and theres no BOY to my rescue. And theres a back stabbing b!tch at work that's messing with my hrs at work!!! FCUK!
-HOWEVER! I need to get over it! Get my act together if I have the "PASSION!" And technically I'm not a poor poor girl. I'm a poor girl trying to act RICH! That's it the LV is going up for sale!

-Theres so much I'm anticipating for, I can't sleep at night. Like my grades, the last class I need to get into Cal State. My bank account/possible loans. Skimping on everything (I stopped buying text books and parking permits I just park and walk) Ways to make money. My future. Pleasing my parents. When should I go see the Dr. And what is going to happen in the next 3.5 weeks and then the final MOVE! >.<>

-고 아라 화이팅!

3.5

~I TRANSFERRED FROM ANOTHER BLOG SO THIS IS A POSTING FROM JULY 6TH 2:37AM~

After being stuck in my hometown all my life, I'm finally going somewhere. I finally found an interest that is setting my career path, and I hope I'm approaching it the right way, if there is a right way. The interest is Korean, sometimes I doubt myself, am I really passionate? Many people I know that are interested in the Korean Culture and Lifestyle seem to be more dedicated. Either way I love it and I'm dying to learn more each and everyday. BUT! I don't have many Korean friends and access to Korean information because its hard to find free time when I'm not tired. I learn most of my Korean stuff from dramas, movies, music, blogs, and the internet of course and the few books I have. But as I say to myself everyday 화이팅! Just when everyone is doubting me I hope to fight to the top. Well, to a stable career path and a happy life (to me debt free with my own place). So I'm moving to Ktown LA in 3.5 weeks! And I am BROKE! No, I'm not in debt I just barely have money, as in a don't know what month 2 of Ktown is going to look like. I guess I'll have to go into DEBT. >.<

Why the move? I'm going to school there and Ktown is not a bad place to live since I can't goto Seoul right now, and its close to school. Hopefully I'll survive LA, traffic/ghetto/ being a girl by herself. I've made a few friends here and there, but none in the Ktown/downtown LA area just a lot of people I meet at the clubs bc of my job here @ my hometown hopefully I can secure a spot in LA then thats one job down. Anyway, as of now everything is up in the air! All I know is I have a place in Ktown but for how long??? Anyway going to school Asian Studies Major Emphasis in Korean(no prior learning except teaching myself) and LOOKING FOR A JOB! Full time or part time as long as I can make rent which is $625. Why all the trouble? one word. Se7en.